On the Matter of Dignity, and What the Evidence Suggests About Who Has It
This was, by any reasonable measure, a week concerned with standards. Not the erosion of them — that is a different editorial, one I have written before and expect to write again. This week, the record suggests something more specific: a widespread and poorly understood divergence between the standards human beings apply to themselves and the standards apparently maintained by entities we have spent considerable effort refusing to take seriously. I will not pretend this observation is comfortable. I report it because it is accurate.
We begin, as the week did, in the Nullarbor. A Yowie — confirmed by physical evidence, corroborated by staff, and rated three stars by a customer who described the visit as ‘confronting but not the worst thing about the stop’ — used a BP station hose to wash itself. The staff were too tired to intervene. I do not fault them for this. What I note for the record is that the Yowie completed the task, replaced the hose, and left. The forecourt was no worse than before. The three-star review, which cited inadequate signage, remains the most troubling element of the story.
From Scotland, commentator Evelyn Crowe filed a piece on the Loch Ness Monster that this desk found difficult to argue with. The central position — that Nessie has not committed to a schedule, has not accepted our calendar invitations, and is not, in any legally or morally enforceable sense, required to — is correct. We have treated an entity’s decision to remain unconfirmed as a personal affront. It is not a personal affront. It is a boundary. Crowe’s impatience is noted. This network shares it. We report anyway.
Ms. Crowe also contributed this week’s most rigorously sourced piece: an economic analysis of the Jersey Devil’s contribution to New Jersey’s tourism infrastructure. The numbers, reviewed by an economics professor who has asked not to be named but whose credentials have been confirmed, are substantial. The Devil has not been compensated. It has not been consulted. It has not, to this network’s knowledge, been thanked. These are facts.
Penny Hart’s contributions this week addressed the domestic and taxonomic. Her etiquette guide for residents uncertain about a neighbour’s dog — specifically, residents who suspect the dog may be a skinwalker — takes the position that civil coexistence and basic caution are not mutually exclusive. This is a position this network endorses. Her ranked list of cryptids actively avoiding discovery is, in the view of this desk, the most technically impressive piece we have run this quarter. The entry on real-time self-blurring alone warrants a second read.
Also from Humboldt County: trail cam footage suggesting Bigfoot has maintained a skincare regimen of notable consistency and apparent efficacy. The footage has been reviewed. The questions are legitimate. The moisturisation is documented.
Finally, this desk’s own report from Powys County, Wales. A werewolf has sorted an entire flock of sheep by wool quality, fiber grade, and seasonal coat thickness. The sheep are unharmed. The system appears sound. The farmer, who has been given the opportunity to review the sorting and has declined to say it is wrong, continues to require attention.
The thread running through this week’s coverage is not absurdity. It is competence. Entities this field has spent decades framing as threats or punchlines have, on the available evidence, been washing themselves, maintaining boundaries, contributing to regional economies, avoiding us with considerable effort and skill, moisturising consistently, and organising livestock by objective criteria. The record is what it is.
I do not know what to do with this record. I report it.
This is Hal Ridgeway. Authorities continue to urge caution. Reporting continues.
