◆ What The Cryptid? Missing Persons Division ◆

Wanted

Information Sought — Whereabouts Unknown

Greg (Probably)

Greg

Production Intern — What The Cryptid? — Last Known Status: Assigned

Days Missing —

Last Assignment Black Ridge Trail

Coffee Status Still Warm

Reports Due 3

Reward Offered

His Coffee

Still warm. Remarkably. We are not investigating this separately.

◆ Situation Report

Greg is What The Cryptid?'s production intern and has been missing since being assigned to cover the Black Ridge Trail incident. He left the office with a notepad, one granola bar, and what colleagues described as "a reasonable level of confidence." He has not returned. His desk remains exactly as he left it. His coffee is, inexplicably, still warm. WTCNN is monitoring the coffee situation separately.

This is not the first time Greg has gone missing on assignment. It is, however, the longest. We remain cautiously optimistic, primarily because the alternative requires paperwork.

◆ Timeline of Known Events

Day 1

Morning — Departed Office

Assigned to Black Ridge Trail Investigation

Greg departed the What The Cryptid? offices with a notepad, one granola bar, and a recorder of uncertain battery status. He seemed confident. He waved. It was a normal wave.

Day 1

Afternoon — Last Contact

Final Voicemail Received

Greg left a voicemail at 3:47pm. The message was partially audible. The audible portion said "it's bigger than I thought" and then something about the granola bar. The voicemail ended normally. We have replayed it seventeen times.

Day 2

Morning — No Contact

Phone Goes to Voicemail

Greg's phone rings and goes to voicemail. This is not unusual for Greg. His voicemail box is full. This is also not unusual for Greg. We left a message anyway.

Day 2

Afternoon — Possible Sighting

Waved at a Passing Driver Near Abandoned Mill

A passing motorist reported seeing someone matching Greg's description near the abandoned mill on Route 7. The wave was normal. The eyes were not discussed. We are following up on this lead.

Day 3+

Ongoing — Status Unknown

Investigation Continues

WTCNN continues to monitor the situation. His coffee remains warm. His reports remain overdue. Management is moderately concerned, in that order.

◆ Evidence Log

E-01

Notepad — Recovered Found at trailhead. Contains seventeen pages of notes, a crude map, the words "DO NOT" underlined three times, and a drawing that may be a cryptid or may be a very large dog. Forensics inconclusive.

E-02

Granola Bar Wrapper — Recovered Located 400 metres from the trailhead. Consumed. This suggests Greg made it at least 400 metres. We consider this encouraging.

E-03

Coffee — Still on Desk — Status: Warm Greg's coffee has remained at a consistent temperature since his departure. WTCNN has not touched it. We are not investigating this separately. We are a little investigating this separately.

E-04

Voicemail — Partially Audible See timeline. Audio enhancement ongoing. The word "bigger" is confirmed. The rest is disputed. Rico says he can hear his own name. We are not confirming this.

E-05

Possible Sighting — Unconfirmed Motorist report from Route 7. Description consistent with Greg. The wave was described as "normal." The eyes were not described. We have asked twice. The motorist has stopped returning calls.

Name Greg

Last Name Unknown. HR is looking into it.

Role Production Intern

Height Approximately eleventy. Give or take.

Build Present

Eyes Brown, maybe. Or hazel. Blue was mentioned once.

Face Familiar but we can't quite place it

Status ● Missing

Reports Due 3 (overdue)

◆ Submit a Tip

Have you seen Greg? Do you have information about his current whereabouts? What The Cryptid? wants to hear from you. He has the keys.

All tips treated with discretion. Except the coffee one. That we are investigating.

◆ Management Note

"Greg's expense report is also overdue. If you find him, please remind him. We are moderately concerned about Greg. We are considerably concerned about the expense report."

◆ Crowdsourced Intelligence ◆

Community Greg Sightings

Reader-submitted reports of possible Greg encounters. All sightings reviewed by WTCNN staff. Verification status assigned. He is out there. Probably.

Total Sightings

Confirmed

Plausible

Unverified

Disputed

◆ Last Confirmed Location

Parking lot of Kroger, Beckley, WV

Subject observed methodically organizing shopping carts in the far corner of the lot at 3:47 PM. Store manager confirmed carts were already properly collected and restocked.

Jun 4, 2026

◆ Sighting Locations ● Confirmed ● Plausible ● Unverified ● Disputed

Jun 4, 2026

Confirmed

Parking lot of Kroger, Beckley, WV

Subject observed methodically organizing shopping carts in the far corner of the lot at 3:47 PM. Store manager confirmed carts were already properly collected and restocked.

Submitted by: Janet Mullins ◆ Confirmed by Hal Ridgeway

Jun 8, 2026

Confirmed

Route 7, Harlan's Creek, WV

Subject sighted waving at passing motorist near abandoned mill. Wave described as normal. Eyes not discussed.

Submitted by: Anonymous ◆ Confirmed by Hal Ridgeway

◆ Submit a Greg Sighting

All tips reviewed by WTCNN staff. Verification status assigned within 48 hours.

◆ Staff Note

All community sightings are reviewed by WTCNN editorial staff before publication. Verification status is assigned based on available evidence, internal cross-referencing, and the specific quality of the submitter's description of Greg's eyes. Unverified sightings are published in good faith. Disputed sightings are published with notation. Hal would like it noted that he is also taking the expense report seriously.

◆ Ask Evelyn ◆ Advice Column

Evelyn Crowe

Paranormal Agony Aunt

Evelyn has been answering letters about cryptid encounters, unexplained phenomena, and highly suspicious neighbours since 1987. She has opinions. Many of them.

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Evelyn is not responsible for advice that attracts additional cryptids

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