Leaked audio reveals billionaire landowner has been charging portal fees to otherworldly entities, operating without federal oversight for decades

UINTAH BASIN, Utah — WTC is reporting live from the perimeter of Skinwalker Ranch, where owner Brandon Fugal confirmed this morning that he has been charging entrance fees to interdimensional entities using his property as an unauthorized transit point. The recordings, leaked by a former ranch security contractor who identified himself only as ‘someone who worked the night shift and saw things,’ reveal a sophisticated fee structure that has generated an estimated $2.3 million in undeclared revenue since 2016.

In the clearest recording, dated March 15th, Fugal can be heard negotiating with what appears to be a delegation from the Zeta Reticuli system. ‘Look, I understand you’ve been using this portal for decades,’ Fugal states, ‘but the property taxes alone are killing me. It’s fifty dollars per entity, plus a fifteen-dollar processing fee. No exceptions.’ The response, described in the transcript as ‘telepathic static followed by resigned compliance,’ reportedly concluded with payment in what ranch staff have classified as ‘probably gold but we’re not entirely sure.’

Community Notice

Federal Agencies Unaware of Operation

Arthur Pritchard, spokesperson for the Department of Cryptid Affairs, confirmed that no permits have been filed for commercial portal operations at Skinwalker Ranch. ‘We’re not saying Mr. Fugal is running an unauthorized customs facility,’ Pritchard stated during a hastily arranged press conference. ‘We’re saying we weren’t aware that customs facilities could be unauthorized, and we’re currently reviewing whether they can be.’ When asked about the revenue implications, Pritchard noted that the DCA does not currently have jurisdiction over interdimensional taxation, adding, ‘We’re not even sure which department would handle that. Possibly Fish and Wildlife.’

We’re not saying Mr. Fugal is running an unauthorized customs facility. We’re saying we weren’t aware that customs facilities could be unauthorized.

— Arthur Pritchard, DCA Spokesperson

The leaked recordings reveal that Fugal’s operation has been running with remarkable efficiency, processing an average of thirty-seven entities per week during peak interdimensional travel season. A detailed fee schedule, apparently posted near the main portal site, lists charges for ‘standard dimensional crossing’ ($50), ‘temporal displacement adjustment’ ($25), and ‘reality stabilization insurance’ ($75, described as ‘highly recommended but technically optional’).

Local residents report that portal activity has increased significantly since the fee structure was implemented, with entities often seen lingering near the ranch perimeter, apparently attempting to negotiate group discounts. Martha Hendricks, who operates a livestock feed store three miles from the ranch, noted that several otherworldly beings have approached her about establishing a payment processing center. ‘They seemed very concerned about exchange rates,’ Hendricks reported. ‘I told them I only deal in dollars and maybe trade for chickens, but they kept asking about something called temporal credit verification.’

Questions Mount Over Tax Implications

The revelations have raised significant questions about the tax implications of interdimensional commerce. IRS spokesperson Janet Morrison stated that while the agency has protocols for unusual income sources, interdimensional customs revenue represents ‘uncharted territory.’ Morrison added that the IRS would be ‘very interested’ in reviewing Fugal’s filings, particularly regarding the classification of quantum currency and whether reality stabilization insurance constitutes a deductible business expense.

They seemed very concerned about exchange rates. I told them I only deal in dollars and maybe trade for chickens.

— Martha Hendricks, Local Business Owner

Fugal, reached for comment at his Salt Lake City office, acknowledged the existence of what he described as ‘informal arrangements with interdimensional visitors’ but denied operating a formal customs facility. ‘These entities have been using my property as a transit point for decades,’ Fugal explained. ‘I simply implemented a modest maintenance fee to offset the considerable wear and tear on local reality.’ When pressed about federal oversight requirements, Fugal noted that no existing regulations specifically prohibit charging portal access fees, adding, ‘I checked.’

The situation has attracted attention from the Alien Diplomatic Corps, which issued a statement expressing ‘mild concern’ about the unauthorized nature of the operation. Attaché Zyx-447 noted that while the Corps appreciates efficient processing procedures, the lack of federal oversight raises questions about the legitimacy of collected fees. ‘We have reviewed our records and find no evidence that Mr. Fugal is an accredited customs official,’ the statement reads. ‘However, his receipts are quite professional, and the laminated fee schedule suggests a commitment to transparency.’