The faceless entity claims decades of amateur sketches have damaged his professional reputation and requests court-mandated photography sessions.

HARLAN’S CREEK, WV — Court-mandated photography equipment was being assembled in this restricted treeline when we arrived forty minutes ago, despite officials insisting no such sessions were scheduled for today, which creates some obvious questions about who authorized this setup and why security has asked us to leave the area three times since 6 AM.

The 847-page complaint, filed Tuesday through the law offices of Brennan, Cross & Associates (Paranormal Division), alleges that countless sketches, drawings, and amateur portraits have ‘materially damaged’ the plaintiff’s professional reputation by consistently failing to capture what his attorney, Margaret Cross, describes as ‘his client’s inherent dignity and professional bearing.’

My client has been reduced to a series of crude stick figures and what can only be described as ‘angry tree drawings.’ This is not representative of his actual presentation.

— Margaret Cross, Attorney

According to the filing, forty thousand amateur artists have consistently drawn disproportionate limb lengths and used what attorney Cross calls ‘amateur shading techniques that suggest menace where none exists.’ We asked Cross to clarify how menace is distinguished from accurate representation. Cross said her client would address this during the mandated photography sessions.

Documentation Dispute Emerges

Department of Cryptid Affairs spokesperson Arthur Pritchard confirmed that his office has been contacted regarding the case but noted that ‘standard documentation procedures for faceless entities present certain logistical challenges that we are working to address through appropriate channels.’

Cross stated that her client is seeking both monetary damages and what she terms ‘corrective documentation’ through court-mandated professional photography sessions. We asked how one photographs an entity without a face. Cross said that was ‘addressed in the filing.’ We noted the filing doesn’t specify photographic methodology for faceless subjects. Cross said her client would clarify this during the sessions. We asked when the sessions were scheduled. Cross said that was still being determined. ‘Mr. Man has been consistently misrepresented in amateur artwork for decades,’ Cross explained. ‘He simply wants the record corrected through proper photographic documentation that reflects his actual professional demeanor.’

The legal team has reportedly retained Wilson & Associates Professional Photography to conduct what they describe as ‘dignity-preserving portrait sessions’ should the court approve their documentation request.

Professional Standards at Stake

Dr. Amelia Cross of the WTC Research Division told us the case raises ‘significant questions about artistic representation standards in the cryptid community.’ We asked Dr. Cross whether the Research Division has documented standards for entities without faces. Dr. Cross said that was ‘outside her specific area of expertise’ and referred us to the Department of Artistic Verification Standards. The Department of Artistic Verification Standards does not appear in the federal directory, is not listed at the courthouse, and when we called the number provided by Dr. Cross, reached what appeared to be a residential voicemail for someone named Janet.

We’re talking about decades of stick-figure representations that bear no resemblance to the plaintiff’s actual professional presence.

— Dr. Amelia Cross, WTC Research Division

The International Cryptid Rights Coalition has filed an amicus brief supporting the plaintiff’s right to ‘accurate visual representation in all artistic mediums.’ Coalition spokesperson Jennifer Walsh stated that the case ‘highlights the ongoing challenges faced by non-traditional entities in maintaining professional image standards.’ We approached the plaintiff’s legal team directly outside the courthouse. Attorney Cross declined to specify the artistic standards they intend to establish, stating only that this would be addressed ‘through proper legal channels.’ We asked what constitutes proper legal channels for entities without faces. Cross ended the conversation. Security has asked us to move back from the courthouse steps twice in the last hour and has just informed us the area is being closed for maintenance. Officials continue insisting the photography setup has been dismantled. There are fresh tripod marks in the soil behind us and what appears to be professional lighting equipment in the back of a van with federal plates that arrived twelve minutes ago. Rico Valez, WTC, Harlan’s Creek.