Moira O’Sullivan claims round-the-clock roadwork has rendered her traditional death warnings ‘completely inaudible to grieving families.’
A 400-year-old banshee has filed a formal noise complaint with Dublin City Council, alleging that ongoing construction on Grafton Street has made it impossible for her to properly warn families of impending doom. Moira O’Sullivan, who has served the O’Brien clan for four centuries, claims the constant drilling and heavy machinery has rendered her death wails “completely inaudible.”
The complaint, submitted through the International Spectral Rights Commission, details how O’Sullivan’s traditional pre-dawn keening sessions have been disrupted by jackhammers operating at decibel levels that exceed her supernatural vocal range. According to the filing, three O’Brien family members have died without proper advance warning since construction began six weeks ago.
I’ve been wailing for the O’Briens since 1623. This is the first time in four centuries that my death prophecies have been completely drowned out by municipal infrastructure improvements.
— Moira O’Sullivan, Certified Banshee
Construction Company Disputes Claims
Flanagan & Sons Construction maintains that their work schedule complies with all city noise ordinances, operating only between 7 AM and 6 PM on weekdays. Company foreman Patrick Flanagan noted that banshees traditionally wail between midnight and dawn, well outside their permitted hours.
BANSHEE REGULATIONS
• Traditional wailing hours: Midnight to dawn
• Decibel range: 85-120 dB
• Warning period required: 3-7 days before death
• Registered banshees in Dublin: 47
• Active noise complaints: 12
Arthur Pritchard, spokesperson for the Department of Cryptid Affairs, confirmed that the agency is “actively monitoring the situation” and working with all parties to reach “an amicable resolution that respects both traditional death omens and modern urban development needs.” Pritchard noted that temporary soundproofing measures are being considered, though he acknowledged this might muffle the wails for their intended recipients as well.
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FIELD ALERT
O’Brien family members are advised to check local obituaries more frequently than usual until the dispute is resolved. Alternative death omens may include unusual bird behavior and spontaneous candle flickering.
The Dublin City Council has scheduled a public hearing for next Tuesday, though attendance may be complicated by the fact that O’Sullivan is only visible to those with impending family deaths. Council members are reportedly considering hiring a medium to facilitate communication during the proceedings.
Construction on Grafton Street is expected to continue for another eight weeks. O’Sullivan has indicated she may seek alternative wailing locations, though she noted that “the acoustics simply aren’t the same” in other parts of the city.
