Dear Evelyn,
I need your help. I’ve been noticing some VERY suspicious behaviour from the woman next door and I don’t know who else to turn to.
It started three weeks ago when she waved at me from her driveway and smiled with TOO MANY TEETH. Not, like, an extra set or anything — I want to be clear about that — just more teeth than felt comfortable for a Tuesday morning. Since then I’ve noticed she:
• Always puts her bins out on the WRONG night, yet they still get collected
• Has never once failed to find a park at Woolies, not even on a Saturday
• Owns wind chimes that play a melody I can’t identify but can’t stop humming
• Her dog doesn’t bark at the possum that lives in my roof. Not ONCE.
Evelyn, that possum is ENORMOUS and deeply unsettling. Every other dog on the street loses its mind. Her labradoodle just stares at it like they have an arrangement.
