Gippsland retiree turns down RSPCA, ignores local MP, and accepts dead rabbits as ‘a fair arrangement’ from her unidentified subterranean lodger

TRAFALGAR, VIC — When Margaret Hollis, 71, first noticed the tunnel appearing beneath the eastern wall of her chook shed back in late March, she did what any reasonable Gippsland retiree would do: she poked it with a broom handle, didn’t like what happened next, and then made herself a cup of tea to think about it. What she did not do — and continues to refuse to do — is evict the creature now occupying what she estimates to be a ‘decent-sized burrow system’ beneath the structure. ‘It’s been there four months,’ Margaret told this reporter from the safety of her back verandah. ‘At some point you just have to accept it as a household situation.’

The thing under the chook shed — which Margaret has taken to calling ‘Gerald,’ a name she admits is provisional and based on ‘nothing in particular, really’ — first announced its presence through a series of low vibrational sounds described by witnesses as somewhere between a didgeridoo and a blocked drain. It has not been seen clearly by anyone, though five neighbours have reported partial sightings, including a ‘large, glistening flank’ spotted by retired schoolteacher Denise Kupferberg moving between the shed and the compost heap at approximately 2 a.m. on a Tuesday. Denise described the experience as ‘genuinely upsetting but also sort of majestic.’

Community Notice

It left three rabbits by the back step on Wednesday morning. Clean kills, laid out neat. I don’t know what to call that if not a contribution.

— Margaret Hollis, Reluctant Landlord, Trafalgar VIC

Authorities Rebuffed; Gerald Unbothered

Representatives from the RSPCA attended the property on April 19th following a concerned call from Margaret’s daughter, who lives in Berwick and has reportedly not visited since ‘the smell started.’ RSPCA officers spent forty minutes on site before filing what sources describe as a ‘non-standard incident report’ and leaving without making contact with the animal. A spokesperson told WTC News the organisation was ‘monitoring the situation’ and ‘not in a position to comment on species classification at this time,’ which in my professional experience is bureaucratic for ‘we have absolutely no idea what that is.’ Margaret’s local member, whose office she declined to name but described as ‘useless about the possums too,’ apparently sent a form letter about urban wildlife management. She used it to prop up a wobbly pot plant.

Look, I’ve seen some things come out of the Strzeleckis over the years. This one’s got table manners. That puts it ahead of some people I’ve met.

— Brian Thwaites, Neighbouring Property Owner and Witness #3

What makes this case genuinely unusual — even by WTC standards, and folks, we covered the Moe Incident — is the apparent mutual accommodation developing between Margaret and Gerald. The chooks, a flock of eight Isa Browns named after members of ABBA and one called Dave, have not only survived the cohabitation but are, by Margaret’s account, ‘calmer than they’ve ever been.’ She theorises Gerald may be keeping foxes away. Cryptozoologist and occasional WTC contributor Dr. Prentice Albright (PhD, non-accredited) reviewed the rabbit evidence remotely via photographs Margaret sent through Facebook Messenger and described the kill pattern as ‘consistent with something that hunts with intent and possibly gratitude,’ adding that he had ‘never typed those words before in that order.’

Margaret Hollis has no plans to sell, move, or reconsider. She has, however, been in contact with a local solicitor about whether an informal tenancy arrangement would affect her rates. The solicitor has not yet called back. When asked if she was frightened, Margaret looked genuinely puzzled for a moment, glanced toward the shed, and said: ‘Gerald’s never done anything to me. Can’t say the same for my ex-husband.’ We at WTC News will continue to monitor this developing arrangement, and we wish both parties the very best in what may be the most unconventional but arguably most functional cohabitation this network has ever reported on. Threat level remains HIGH, though Margaret has asked us to note that she personally rates it a four out of ten at most.