Duncan MacLeod’s broadband bill has tripled as extraterrestrial visitors binge reality television from spacecraft parked above his property for three months running.

ISLE OF SKYE, SCOTLAND — Duncan MacLeod discovered his internet was being hijacked by aliens when his monthly broadband bill jumped from £45 to £387, coinciding with a spacecraft that has been hovering approximately sixty feet above his croft since late September. The extraterrestrial visitors have been streaming Earth entertainment content continuously, with particular enthusiasm for reality dating shows and cooking competitions.

“I thought it was the teenagers from the village at first,” MacLeod told WTC from his kitchen, where the spacecraft’s blue glow provides enough light to read by after sunset. “But then I checked the router logs and saw they were pulling down Love Island episodes at three in the morning. The whole bloody series. Multiple seasons. In 4K.”

They’ve worked through every Gordon Ramsay show available. Yesterday I caught them streaming Hell’s Kitchen with the subtitles on.

— Duncan MacLeod, unwilling broadband provider

The Department of Cryptid Affairs confirms this is the fourteenth reported case of “unauthorised extraterrestrial bandwidth appropriation” in the Highlands this year, though spokesperson Arthur Pritchard noted that most incidents resolve themselves once the aliens finish their viewing queue. “We’ve found that filing formal complaints tends to escalate these situations,” Pritchard explained. “The visitors typically move on once they’ve exhausted the available content libraries.”

Viewing Habits Raise Questions

MacLeod’s internet service provider, Highland Broadband Solutions, initially suspected a technical error when his data usage spiked to 2.3 terabytes in October. Customer service representative Moira Campbell visited the property personally after the account was flagged for potential fraud. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” Campbell said via phone from the company’s Inverness office. “The usage patterns were consistent with twelve simultaneous high-definition streams running twenty-four hours daily. When I arrived at the property, there was definitely a spacecraft there. They offered me tea.”

The aliens have reportedly shown particular interest in competition-based programming, working systematically through available seasons of MasterChef, The Great British Bake Off, and multiple international versions of dating reality shows. MacLeod noted that the spacecraft’s occupants appeared to take extensive notes during cooking segments, though their viewing of romantic content seemed purely recreational.

MacLeod attempted to change his WiFi password last week but discovered the aliens had already updated their connection credentials through what Highland Broadband’s technical analysis describes as “unknown but definitely effective methods.” The spacecraft now displays MacLeod’s network name — “SkyleCroft_Guest” — on an external screen that is visible from the A87 road, leading to increased tourism in the area.

Local councillor Fiona Morrison confirmed that the Isle of Skye Tourism Board has received seventeen enquiries about the “alien WiFi experience” since news of the incident spread on social media. “We’re exploring whether this constitutes a legitimate attraction,” Morrison said. “Though we’d need to resolve the broadband cost issue first. Mr. MacLeod shouldn’t bear the full financial burden of intergalactic entertainment consumption.”