◆ What The Cryptid? News Network · Personnel File ◆
Greg
(Probably)
Production Intern — Status: Unconfirmed
● Missing
WTC · WTCNN
Has The Keys
Greg joined What The Cryptid? at some point. The exact date is not recorded in the network's employment files, which is unusual, as the network maintains detailed employment files.
greg@whatthecryptid.com
◆ What Is Known About Greg
Greg joined What The Cryptid? at some point. The exact date is not recorded in the network's employment files, which is unusual, as the network maintains detailed employment files. His application, if one exists, has not been located. HR has been asked about this on three separate occasions and has responded each time with a statement describing Greg as "a valued member of the production team" without addressing the question that was asked.
Nobody is entirely certain who hired Greg. The leading theory is Hal Ridgeway, who neither confirms nor denies this but does refer to Greg with the specific exhausted affection of a man who made a decision he stands by in principle while acknowledging it has had consequences. Hal has left three notes on Greg's desk in the past two months. Two of them are about the parking. One ends with a small heart, which Hal has not explained.
What is known about Greg professionally is as follows. He makes coffee, and the coffee is always the correct temperature regardless of when it was made or how long it has been sitting, which several colleagues have noted is not technically possible. He has building access to areas of the facility that his clearance level does not cover. He sends emails at hours that imply either severe insomnia or a relationship with time that differs meaningfully from the standard model.
He parks terribly. This is the most documented aspect of his employment. There are photographs.
His last confirmed location was Black Hollow Research Access Road, where he was seen heading toward the tree line carrying two coffees and a flashlight. One of the coffees was for Rico. It was still hot when Greg handed it over. That was some time ago. Somewhere, in all probability, Greg is fine. Probably.
◆ The Official Record ◆
What We Know. What We Don't.
WTCNN maintains thorough personnel records. Greg's file is an exception.
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The coffee is always the correct temperature. Always. Regardless of when it was made.
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He has building access to areas his clearance level does not cover.
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He has appeared in the background of seven live broadcasts, four at locations he was not assigned to.
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He parks terribly. There are photographs.
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He has the keys. All colleagues can confirm this. Which keys, specifically, remains unclear.
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Evelyn Crowe has received eleven postcards from Greg. One postmark does not correspond to a location that still exists.
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He sends emails at hours that imply either severe insomnia or a non-standard relationship with time.
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His last confirmed sighting: Black Hollow Research Access Road. Two coffees. A flashlight. Heading toward the tree line.
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When Greg started. The employment files are unclear. HR has been asked three times.
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Whether Greg's application exists and, if so, where.
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What Greg was doing at the locations he appeared in the background of — two of which were officially inaccessible at the time.
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What Greg is looking at in the seventh broadcast. Producers have reviewed the footage. There is nothing outside the shot.
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Whether Greg is aware the crew is looking for him, or has decided not to be found yet.
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What Evelyn left on his desk. She says he'll know what to do with it.
◆ Have You Seen Greg? ◆
If you have seen Greg, encountered someone who might be Greg, found a notepad that could belong to Greg, or received a coffee from an unidentified source that was the correct temperature, please contact the network. Hal wants to talk to him about the parking. It is not only about the parking.
Submit a Greg Sighting →