The ‘Cosy Creek Retreat’ Near the Hoh Rainforest, WA

This is number one. This is number one by a margin I find genuinely distressing. The listing describes ‘rustic charm, old-growth ambiance, and a host who respects your privacy to an almost philosophical degree.’ The listing photos show a cabin that WTC cross-referenced with a 2019 field report in our own archives describing what three separate witnesses called ‘a bipedal structure of significant height using the same cabin as a territorial marker, specifically by leaning on it.’ The cabin in the archive photo and the cabin in the listing photo are the same cabin. Same distinctive cedar shakes. Same broken gutter on the north side that appears in both images. The Airbnb has 34 reviews. Average rating: 1.8 stars. The most common complaints are ‘thumping sounds after midnight,’ ‘the smell of wet forest but intensified beyond what forest normally smells like,’ and, from one guest who left one star and wrote only ‘IT WATCHED US PACK,’ which I have screenshotted and placed in the REAL ACTUAL EVIDENCE folder in a location I can immediately find.

The ‘Off-Grid Gem’ Outside Estacada, OR

I have personal feelings about this one because Estacada is forty-five minutes from my apartment and I have driven that road. The listing bills itself as ‘a true digital detox experience — your host has embraced a lifestyle entirely outside modern connectivity’ which, having read our field files on the area, I am now interpreting as a description rather than a selling point. Twelve of the property’s nineteen reviews mention ‘the sense of being observed from the tree line.’ Two mention finding what one guest described as ‘very large nest-like depressions in the grass’ that ‘were not there when we arrived.’ One review, currently marked as ‘helpful’ by six other users, reads: ‘Charming, peaceful, we saw something on night two that my husband and I have agreed not to discuss. Four stars. Would consider returning if we could bring our dog, who refused.’ Rating: 2.3 stars. Superhost. I cannot stress that enough.

The ‘Lakeside Sanctuary’ on the Olympic Peninsula, WA

This listing’s primary photo is a dock over a lake at golden hour and it is, genuinely, a beautiful photograph. I looked at it for a long time before I recognised the lake. I recognised the lake because it appears in a 2021 witness report submitted to WTC by a kayaker who described ‘a prolonged displacement event in the water consistent with something very large submerging nearby, after which the water smelled strongly of something I can only describe as old and wrong.’ The Airbnb’s amenities section lists ‘kayak available for guest use.’ I have stared at this for a while. The listing has 61 reviews, which makes it our most-reviewed entry, and the ratings distribute in a way that data analysts call ‘bimodal’ — guests either leave five stars and write ‘so peaceful, lake was calm, never felt more alone in a good way’ or they leave one star and do not elaborate. Rating: 2.0 stars. The host’s profile photo is a sunrise. There is no person in it.

The ‘Historic Farmhouse’ in Skamania County, WA

Skamania County is, for readers who need the context, the county that in 1969 passed an ordinance making it illegal to kill Bigfoot, classifying any such act as a felony. I admire this ordinance. I have a printout of it. It is on my refrigerator next to a Mothman magnet my mother sent me. The farmhouse listing describes ‘a working property with authentic rural character’ and notes that ‘the surrounding acreage is actively used.’ I want to be precise about how much that phrasing landed for me when I read it. Guest reviews describe ‘large muddy prints on the porch that weren’t from any of us,’ ‘outbuilding doors that had been opened from outside,’ and one review that says ‘beautiful property, the noises at night were animals probably, we chose to believe that, here is three stars.’ The listing has a minimum two-night stay. I think that’s bold. Rating: 2.4 stars.

The ‘Remote Treehouse Experience’ Near Mount St. Helens, WA

I am placing this one fifth not because it is the least concerning — it is not — but because the listing is so cheerfully written that I have to respect the commitment. ‘Elevated living for the adventurous guest!’ it says. ‘Host is very hands-off and you will have the property entirely to yourselves!’ it says. ‘Guests sometimes report unusual acoustic phenomena which we consider part of the authentic wilderness experience!’ it says, and that last one is a direct quote from the listing description, not a review, which means whoever manages this property sat down and typed it intentionally. Our field files on the Mount St. Helens corridor include documented infrasound events in the area consistent with what four researchers have described as territorial vocalisation. The treehouse is twelve feet off the ground. One review says ‘the platform swayed at 3am and there was nothing in the wind data for that night.’ The reviewer gave it three stars and added ‘the sunrise views were worth it honestly.’ Rating: 2.1 stars. There is a hot tub.