Interdimensional gateway faces £200 penalty notice as Highland Council insists parking regulations apply across all realities
A recently manifested portal to parallel dimensions has been issued with a parking violation notice after materialising in the Ben Nevis Visitor Centre car park without displaying a valid ticket. Traffic Warden Moira Henderson discovered the swirling vortex occupying space B-14 during her Tuesday morning patrol and promptly applied enforcement procedures.
“Portal or no portal, the rules are the rules,” Henderson stated while affixing the penalty notice to the gateway’s outer energy field. “I’ve seen all sorts try to dodge the parking fees. Invisible cars, ghost vehicles, that dragon that insisted it was just ‘briefly landing.’ This one’s no different.”
We’ve consulted our legal department across seventeen dimensions. The consensus is that municipal parking laws create a binding precedent in all accessible realities.
— Arthur Pritchard, DCA Spokesperson
Jurisdictional Nightmare Unfolds
The situation has escalated following Highland Council’s decision to clamp the portal when the initial fine went unpaid. The enforcement action has reportedly stranded several interdimensional travellers, including what witnesses describe as “a very polite version of the Queen” and “three separate variants of local councillor James MacPherson, all arguing with each other.”
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FIELD ALERT
Visitors are advised that attempting to use the portal as a shortcut to the summit may result in additional parking charges across multiple realities. The DCA has confirmed that fees compound exponentially with each dimensional breach.
Department of Cryptid Affairs spokesperson Arthur Pritchard addressed the mounting controversy during a hastily arranged press conference. “We’ve consulted our legal department across seventeen dimensions,” Pritchard explained. “The consensus is that municipal parking laws create a binding precedent in all accessible realities. However, we’re still determining which version of Highland Council has ultimate jurisdiction.”
FAST FACTS
• Portal dimensions: approximately 2.1 metres wide, infinite depth
• Daily parking rate: £3.50 (£200 penalty)
• Number of realities currently accessible: 47 confirmed
• Traffic wardens deployed: 1 (Moira Henderson)
• Disputed parking tickets across all dimensions: 847 and counting
The International Portal Operators Union has condemned the enforcement action as “discriminatory against non-linear entities” and threatened to close all dimensional gateways in Scotland until the matter is resolved. Union representative Dr. Sarah Chen noted that similar portals in Edinburgh and Glasgow operate under special exemptions, though she declined to specify which versions of those cities.
Alternative Reality Complications
The matter has been further complicated by the arrival of several alternative versions of Henderson, each insisting they issued the original ticket. Highland Council’s legal department reports receiving payment attempts in seventeen different currencies, including “something that appears to be crystallised time” and a cheque signed by a version of the Queen who apparently never abdicated.
In my dimension, car parks don’t exist because everyone travels by trained Highland cows. I’m not sure how parking law applies here.
— Alternate Moira Henderson #7
At press time, the portal remains clamped while seventeen different versions of Highland Council debate jurisdiction via interdimensional video conference. The DCA has established a temporary visitor centre in the car park, offering guided tours of accessible realities for £12.50 per person, parking not included.
